CS Degree Day 15

I could not study anything today due to work related reasons- is what I wanted to write. But the truth is that I frittered ~4 hours on youtube. I had to resist the urge of hiding my flaws and risk vulnerability for one simple reason. You cannot expect a human to be perfect and not make any mistake, but you can expect them to not repeat their mistakes. This note is my attempt to prevent such lapse again.

I don’t know why I remissed into distractions instead of finding solace in doing math, like I have done since Day 1. I don’t know why I didn’t jolt up from the despicable state and expend myself on more meaningful expeditions. But I do know that one factor, that aided my flourishment at start, but is missing now. And that is “Deadline”. Deadlines eventually inflicted setback in form of symptoms of sleep deprivation, but for the time being I was in a sublime state. I had a singular goal to anchor my actions and decisions. A purpose that acts as bulwark against distractions of modern technology.

I have to reinstate such goal in life in order to prevent the same mistake from occuring again.